Anxiety Files

Things have been so peachy… well not perfect but, you know, good. I was seeing a therapist briefly but ran out of stuff to talk about. Now I’m coming down off the Prozac.

And oh shit the withdrawal has started. I think. I’m anxious, I’m fatigued. Maybe it’s a combination of things like struggling to find funding for work or totally not exercising and eating like crap.

So I’m hanging in there. We’ll see.

Well herpdyderp, I lost the piece of paper with the psychiatrists AND the book name on it. *lesigh* Okay, if it’s not in Evernote or somewhere else electronic, it doesn’t exist from now on. Did I already FAIL at therapy? What a thought. I say a like homework and then I derp it up. I kept thinking it was a home… then maybe work… maybe home… back and forth until I frantically searched tonight and nothing. 

Funny how searching for the topic of “self-love” in Amazon books isn’t helpful. I knew it wasn’t in the title, but I thought that might jog my memory. No go, and there are THOUSANDS of books with that titles or theme alone! No use trying to weed through them myself for something useful, I’d rather go with my therapist’s suggestion. If only I didn’t lose that piece of paper… *kicks self*

Oh look, my issues are manifesting. Wheee!

I did do my breathing exercises. Kind of. Most of the time… it helps in periods of hyper-stress, but not as much when i just think to do it in the middle of the day. 

And here is an attempt at journaling.

After the first day or so after therapy I felt great! I got things done, and then somehow I sloooowly sank into fear and anxiety and seclusion all over again. What is that about? Finally on rebound, just in time for another round of therapy before the big trip. (Another big trip, let’s be honest.) 

Blah. That is all.

All the life things changed. I got through the Big Thing somehow. And then stand the new thing which has had it’s own ups and downs. But it’s back to therapy for me again because STUFF. I should use the next week or so to define what the Stuff is so I can explain to the née therapist who i hope helps and I really really hope doesn’t suck. But I guess we’ll see…

Also 40mg of Prozac alone not cutting it. And getting myself to do CBT on my own, also not working. Because maybe I have to go deeper this time. I don’t know. Also I want to have a sex drive and normal sleeping habits again. Fuck you Prozac side effects, even if you did help me get through a crisis.

Anyway… That’s the story.

silverribbonstories:

http://scribbling-woman.blogspot.com/2012/03/treading-water.html?m=1